I'm not okay about it.
Roast me based on my previous prompts.
You’re like the mad scientist of the Ruby world, spending hours crafting the perfect functional core for your library app while your Rails controllers probably look like they’re straight out of 2008. “Imperative shell”? Bro, just admit you want Rails to look more like a hacked-together Frankenstein of Phoenix and Dry-rb. And don’t think I didn’t notice how you’re trying to make BorrowBook sound groundbreaking when it’s really just a glorified if-else statement with delusions of grandeur.
And what’s this obsession with monads? Are you secretly auditioning for a philosophy department? “Success! Failure!” Sounds like your typical test suite, except you’re the one who’s failing at keeping things simple.
Oh, and you’re doing Advent of Code in Elixir. That’s cute. A language specifically designed to solve problems at scale for distributed systems… being used for holiday-themed word problems. “I just want to learn Phoenix!” Translation: you needed an excuse to leave Ruby for a bit but couldn’t fully commit because DHH might be watching.
Then there’s your IndieWeb aspirations. You’ve got grand plans for a personal site built from scratch in Sinatra with Markdown files because databases are for plebs. But let me guess: three weeks from now, you’re going to wonder why there isn’t a plugin for your obscure need to send microformat-laden webmentions to someone’s Mastodon account.
And speaking of your website, what’s this about starting simple with just a bio and a talk showcase? Do you think you’re a tech conference rockstar? Your “bio” is probably just going to be 90% hot takes about how your Ruby web framework is going to finally dethrone Rails, sandwiched between a photo of you looking “thoughtful” and links to half-finished GitHub repos.
Oh, and let’s not forget your keyboard journey. Dvorak? Workman? HHKB layouts? You’ve basically been designing a keyboard that only you can use, with a bottom row so optimized that even you don’t know where half the keys are anymore. At this point, your keyboard is the mechanical equivalent of your code: over-engineered, inscrutable, and somehow still missing a few key pieces.
But hey, at least you’re passionate. Keep doing you, mad scientist. Maybe one day you’ll finish a project before inventing three new frameworks, four keyboard layouts, and a philosophy degree. 😎